Thursday, May 25, 2006

Mothers and Daughters


One of the gifts I received for Mother's Day was a darling plaque that reads,

"Mirror mirror on the wall, I have become my mother after all."

I suppose in some ways that is true, but in other ways, I am not my mother. My mother died at the young age of 50, and I missed a lot of time seeing and understanding what her life was really like.
For example:
What would it be like to raise teenagers (not that I was ever a problem teen)?
What were her hopes and dreams?
What was her favorite pet?
What was her favorite vacation?
What were her favorite memories of me as a child?
Who took her to the prom? What did she wear?
How did she manage work and home and me and dad and extended family and friends and stay on top of it all?
When marriage stresses came up, how did she deal with it?
How did she develop an adult relationship with her mother?
The hard part about wondering about the answers to these questions, is also knowing that I'll never really know the answers. My mother dying young eliminated any chance of an adult relationship between mother and daughter. What young adult of 23 and newly married, really understands death? I was too wrapped up in graduating from college, starting a new job, and getting married to even consider the fact that she was going to die. Oh, I knew it was a possibility because lung cancer is serious business, but I refused to even consider the possibility.
The above picture was taken on my parent's honeymoon to the Grand Canyon in 1953. I am thankful to have recently found a group of pictures with the captions written on the back, that have given me some insight to my mom as a young woman. I miss you Mom.
My prayer is that my daughters and I will have the opportunity to know and love each other as adults, to build on our mother/daughter relationship. I love you both very much!

2 comments:

Vonnie said...

That is a cool picture. I can't believe we both lost our mothers at 50 - actually mine had turned 51. Both from cancer. I was 30 when my mother died so I did have her a little longer. I have got to go through my old pictures. I said I would do that when we moved here two years ago, but...
Have fun in Maui

Vonnie said...

Welcome Home! Where are the pictures?